FEAR LESS: REJECTION
Pastor Josh Weisbrod – September 6, 2020
KEY IDEA: Live for an audience of one.
KEY PASSAGE: “. . . for God us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7; “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe.” Proverbs 29:25
SUMMARY: When we seek to please man we end up in the rejection traps of being overly starved or overly cautious. We overcome the fear of rejection by saying “yes” to pleasing God and saying “no” to pleasing man.
INTRODUCTION: There is a danger in living with an addiction to the approval of others. The fear of rejection is a trap.
When we fear rejection we can become overly starved
· It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. What we desire most, acceptance, we lose first because we try so hard and yet will never be satisfied. People overcompensate for what they never received.
· King Saul is an example of what the fear of rejection does. He’s good looking, tall, intelligent, poetic, and spiritually motivated. Saul’s problem was a fear of rejection. Saul feared the people and obeyed their voice, and disobeyed God. (1 Samuel 15:24)
· We fear what people think so we do what they want, not what is right. Pressure from people begins to compromise our integrity.
· We give up more than we ever would to achieve intimacy and yet it’s the furthest from the truth. We give away parts of ourselves, including our integrity until, the other validates us.
· Fear of Missing out (FOMO) –“I hope someone likes me. I hope they invite me.” We are so afraid of man and in our culture, we are afraid of being canceled.
· Approval addicts have two difficulties:
1. They have an inability to confront
§ They fear “If I confront, they’ll get mad and leave.”
§ They need to learn biblical confrontation with biblical integrity.
2. They give in but are inwardly angry and resentful
When we fear rejection we can become overly cautious
· The thinking goes like so: “I’ve been so hurt by people, I will never trust again. No one is getting close to me. You’ll never know me because I’ll never be hurt again. I’ll say whatever you want to hear, but I’ll keep you at arm’s length.”
· Proverbs 28:14 – “Blessed is the one who fears the LORD always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity.”
· John 12:42-43 – “Nevertheless, many even of the authorities believed in him, but for fear of the Pharisees they did not confess it, so that they would not be put out of the
synagogue; 43 for they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God.
How do we overcome fear of rejection?
1. Say “yes” to pleasing God
· Jehoshaphat, the king of Judah, was speaking to king of Israel about taking back the land. “And Jehoshaphat said to the king of Israel, ‘Inquire first for the word of the LORD.’” 1 Kings 22:5.
· He doesn’t first check with his advisers or the people. He inquires first for the word of the LORD.
· Whose opinion matters the most to you? Family, friends, or the LORD? Do you first ask, ‘What does God think?’
· You will never be disappointed if you seek to please God first.· You will be rejected by man. Be concerned if you are always accepted by everyone in the world.
· Christ was rejected. (John 15:18) If I seek to be like Christ, I shouldn’t be seeking the approval of others. People will not like Him in me. This should not surprise you.
2. We say “no” to pleasing people.
· What pleases God is being kind and gracious to people.
· We are saying no to being a “people pleaser”.
· Isaiah 51:12-13 “I, I am he who comforts you; who are you that you are afraid of man who dies, of the son of man who is made like grass, and have forgotten the LORD, your Maker, who stretched out the heavens and laid the foundations of the earth, and you fear continually all the day because of the wrath of the oppressor, when he sets himself to destroy?”
· Every day you have the opportunity to cave into the fear of rejection or give your heart to the Lord and please Him in how you act and how you speak to others.
· Galatians 1:10 “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
· Will I say yes to pleasing the LORD and no to pleasing others? His is the only opinion that matters.
· John 5:30 “By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me.”
Conclusion: “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe.” Proverbs 29:25
How are you safe and secure? You go to God for your identity and approval. You have a “hall pass”. You are on assignment from God, so you don’t need others’ approval. You have God’s hall pass in your life and God’s hall pass tells you what you are called and created to do. God says you are acceptable to Him. Don’t live for their approval, live for His assignment.
“Secure in God’s love, I will not surrender my self-worth to the opinions and judgments of others.
When I am rejected, I will not retaliate; when I am hurt, I will allow God’s love to heal me. And knowing the pain of rejection, I will seek to love those who suffer from its anguish.”
-Lloyd Ogilvie
GOAL: LIVE FOR AN AUDIENCE OF ONE!
REFLECTION/DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
Use these reflection questions as a way to deepen your relationship with God. Allow the Holy Spirit to shine a light into your heart.
1) Pastor Josh said that when we fear rejection, we become 1) overly starved or 2) overly cautious. He said that we become overly starved because we overcompensate for the approval we never received which pushes others away, or we become overly cautious because we try to protect ourselves from being rejected so we don’t let people close. Which end do you tend to lean toward, overly starved or overly cautious, and why?
2) No one likes to be rejected because it is painful. Every human being has felt the sting of rejection in one form or another. How does the experience of rejection change the way you perceive the people around you?
3) Do you ever experience FOMO (Fear of Missing out)? If no, why not? If yes, how does FOMO impact your integrity and distract you from living out your purpose?
4) In what types of situations do you find yourself tempted to fall into the trap of “people-pleasing”? Why is that?
5) Lloyd Ogilvie said, “Secure in God’s love, I will not surrender my self-worth to the opinions and judgments of others. When I am rejected, I will not retaliate; when I am hurt, I will allow God’s love to heal me. And knowing the pain of rejection, I will seek to love those who suffer from its anguish.” How might following Lloyd’s practical advice help us overcome our own fears of rejection?
The goal is to “Live for an audience of One (God).” What is something that would have to change in your life if you passionately pursued this as your number one goal and said “yes” to pleasing God and“no” to pleasing man?
Full Podcast Episode: http://banner.church/podcast/2020/9/12/fearless-fear-of-rejection-9620